It’s late summer and you may be thinking about going back to school and seeing friends you haven’t seen all summer.  You may have matured over the summer and feel ready to join a new group of friends at school this year.  

As Marlene says in her book “My Self-A Guide to Me” to be happy and successful in life, you need to be able to manage your relationships with all the people in your social network, whether they’re friends, family, or people in your community.  This means giving as much as you receive.  It means caring as much as you’re cared for.  It means treating others as you would like to be treated.  The best thing about this is that when you do good, you feel good inside.

Frenemies
You may love your friends as if they were your family.  They can sometimes make you laugh harder than you thought possible, but they can also make you cry.  When you are in a superclose relationship, you and your friend’s actions mean a lot to each other.  That’s why friendship can be beautiful and  it can be bumpy.  Here are a few common situations you may have with pals and how to deal with them.

The Faraway Friend: You and a friend talk on the phone every day, sometimes for hours before you go to bed.  You walk to school together and swap clothes.  It’s like you’re practically joined at the hip.  And then suddenly-you’re not.  That same friend is drifting away, not answering your e-mails and getting off the phone quickly.  You know you didn’t do anything to offend her, so what’s going on?  And how can you get her back?

The solution:  Sometimes friends fall out of touch for no good reason.  Don’t attack the person by e-mail or letter, since that will probably make her retreat even more.  The best approach is a low key one.  Hang back for a while and occasionally extend an invitation to the movies or some other event you both enjoy.

The Copycat: You decide to paint a sunset in art class, and your friend next to you does the same.  While planning a karaoke birthday, you receive an invitation to your friend’s sing-along bash.  On the first day of school, you run into your twin wearing-that’s right-the exact same dress.  Coincidence, or a case of the copycats?

The solution: It’s a drag, but just know that imitation is the highest form of flattery.  If a friend cribs your style or joins your activity, try to see it as a good thing.  Hey, you’ve got great taste.  If the imitation becomes a nuisance, consider taking your friend aside and talking to her.  In a gentle way, say you love that she appreciates your choices but that you want to keep your clothes, projects, or plans unique.  Then offer to pick out an outfit that will look great on just her.

The Blabbermouth: Some friends aren’t great at keeping secrets.  In fact, they are terrible at it.  Anything you tell them spreads faster than wildfire.  Is someone really a friend if you can’t trust her with confidential information?

The Solution: Secrets are overrated.  If someone is a good friend in every way other than keeping her mouth shut, chances are that’s a friend worth having.  Just don’t tell her anything you don’t want everyone to know.